This has taken 3 days to write, rewrite, delete and rewrite…I don’t know why I felt compelled to keep at it…but obviously, I did!
I am just an old fuddy duddy…an older mother of adult children. I was not always a good mother to my own kids in the moment, but I was ALWAYS a good mother in spirit and in the long run. However, my opinions need to be filtered through my own failings.
I will start with a shout-out to my daughter, who is a new mom and who is adapting to motherhood with surprising ease. The competent little girl who had everything planned out and who pretty much stuck with the plan grew into a super-competent media queen who made a new plan and then into a mom who could make no plan…you go girl!
Something struck me the other day, as I was lying in bed waiting for the sun to rise. I read voraciously, although these days, it is fewer books and more blogs and newspaper articles and opinion pieces. There is so much written about moms and families right now. All those entertaining food and fitness bloggers and writers are having babies and a lot of content has changed to reflect that…there is so much information out there. Babies MUST sleep only on their backs…babies MUST sleep only on their tummies…let them cry…don’t let them cry…hold them, but not too much…never put them down…eat this…don’t eat this. And then there are all the things that you “need” in order to be a good mother…lots of “things”.
Information is good, but once you have done your research (which MAY include well-meaning advice from family and friends), it is time to trust yourself. You know this little person better than anyone else in the world. You know you will do the best you can do…as your mother did, as your grandmother did, as your great-grandmother did…and the best you can do is the best you can do. You can raise happy, healthy children even if you don’t have “things”. Just love them to pieces and do the best you can. And trust your instincts.
Oh, and don’t blink too often…kids grow up so fast…