Do you think that title scared anyone off? This is to my pausing and paused friends, although it could be construed as an eye toward the future to our young ones.
I have been long paused…10 years or so…I have seen my body go from “slightly out-of-shape but still a remote reflection of the body of my youth” to “ohmygod, that’s not me, that’s my mom…ohmygod, that IS me…what are those rolls around my bra line and I don’t have THAT many chins…my middle has become a barrel and I keep saying I’m so fat and for the first time I have 30 pounds to lose, not the 5 pounds of my youth and…” Again, if you are on the journey, you know whereof I speak.
But, damn…I just can’t go on like this. Yes, I am heavier than I have ever been…yes, my midsection now lacks a waist and has gained girth. But I still look good…I smile a lot and when you are smiling, the lines and wrinkles and discolorations aren’t as apparent. I hide most of the bulk with black and pops of color. I stand up straight, sit up straight…makes the 3/4″ in height I’ve lost not so visible. And, if I really want to take the time and effort, I can doll myself up with make-up and hair so that the rest of me is consigned to the shadows.
I eat pretty well…I get a little exercise…I exercise my brain with Words with Friends and Scrabble and Word Search and doing our taxes and Rachel Maddow, Andrea Mitchell and NPR…I have a husband I love and who loves me…I tick off most of the boxes when it comes to enhancing my chances for a healthy rest-of-my-life…maybe that quest requires the extra 30 pounds, the thick middle…maybe someday I’ll figure it all out.
In the meantime, here’s a shout out to all my woman friends who have watched their physical selves change and grow…since it is happening to all of us, there must be a reason!